What is joie de vivre if not a yellow Nissan 240SX with a pair of stanced, replica Saleen wheels up front and rusty 16-inch steelies out back, covered in fake blood? Behold one contender for Worst Car on Craigslist that brings a surprising amount of charisma to the table (server?) in a medium where the dominant tone is “NO CALLS TEXT ONLY BEFORE 9.” In the words of the author:
“For sale: One yellow lemon. Unsafe for the road and questionable for the track. Doesn’t travel quickly in any direction, but reasonably entertaining when going sideways.”
In a refreshing twist, this Craigslist seller isn’t one who believes his, say, non-running 2003 Dodge Neon SRT-4 is a SUPER RARE, DESIRABLE car that will soon be SHOOTING UP IN VALUE so you better HURRY, WON’T LAST. Instead, the owner of this Nissan 240SX, a car with a Blue Book value of $826 in “Fair” condition (“Deplorable” ain’t an option), knows his claptrap is a claptrap. Regarding roadworthiness, he (it must be a “he”) notes, “Probably not worth putting back on the street but we can discuss that if that’s your goal.” It’s as if you’re standing together, looking out upon a wounded steer, saying, “Looks like we’d better have steaks, tonight.” Rehabilitation just isn’t happening.
Then, there’s the matter of the blood. In many of the post’s photos, this dilapidated Datsun is splattered in what the seller alleges is “fake blood.” In his words: “The blood is fake, and not currently on the car. The blood is temporary, the friends and memories you make are forever.” While the reasons behind the application of the blood remain unclear—was it an All Hallow’s Eve autocross?—he makes a good point. Red dye and corn syrup will wash off in the rains, but the times you spend with loved ones, applying red dye and corn syrup to a beat-to-shit Nissan coupe? Those are indelible. Now, who wants to start a death metal band called Blood Is Temporary?